I fell behind this year. Usually, I’m on top of this month by month but between school and some very traumatic events that needed to be covered, I kept pushing back. So here it is. The end of a decade.
January-
- I went on my first date of the year with Malcolm to the Wings of the Rockies Museum. We had a great time and ended up in a relationship for a brief moment. I’m a firm believer in the power of the rebound so this was perfect after Cameron. His birthday the 24th was fine and meeting his friends was awesome.
- I spent a lot of this month applying for conferences. We’ll see where I’m accepted too.
- I got accepted to present at DU and in Cincinnati at the MAHS meeting with Sristi.
- took a macro photography workshop at the butterfly pavilion. This was fun and I learned a lot.
February
- 30 to 30 is ending soon and I did my photoshoot with Erin. She is such an awesome photographer and made me feel great. I got my photos back right before my birthday and I absolutely love them.
-Turned 30 in Vegas with my favorite Canadian who flew in special. We planned for months and I’m so happy she was able to join me on this adventure. See the post about all we did.
- Dolphin Yoga :D
-Charlie Moore- My favorite mason and grandfather passed away the 12th.
- Malcolm and I entered the second month of our relationship. But there was a level of abuse that could and would have turned pour. He took dominate to mean controlling and force always and it was my fault at first his dick didn’t work. I’m sure I could put it much kinder but hindsight is 20/20 and I’ve never been known for my filter. Malcolm had no problem telling me I was beautiful and that I looked like a lesbian in the same breath, he would hold me in bed and tell me not to work out when that is exactly what he needed to do to survive. It was around his birthday things started to change. He insisted on me being in Denver on weekends to hang with him (I didn’t have the choice) so I was seeing less of Wynn, he was more into getting drugs to fix his ED then considering a drug free alternative. The final straw was Valentine’s. I write this to finally clear my head on the subject
Malcolm wanted to do something special and asked what I wanted. He texted “for Valentines/your birthday,” I told him no. You can’t combine them, he called and in conversation informed me I was miss understanding. Two separate things, not one. That’s fine, but not what you wrote. I was pissed. Don’t combine holidays, namely if they are on different days completely. Charlie died the 12th and the next day we had made the plan to do Valentine’s since I left for Vegas on the 14th. He wanted some grand show but had no plan and In the mourning, I didn’t have a want to plan. After some argument over the text, we agreed on a normal night (Dinner, GOT, cards). I knew it would happen but was still annoyed when he got me a dozen long stem roses and a box of chocolates. I don’t know what annoyed me more that he didn’t think to ask my favorite flower or candy (he’s seen the tattoos), that he got me flowers before I left for a trip, or that he thrust them upon as if they were a gift from the gods and I should strip naked recieving them. I accepted them and as we ate honey glazed garlic chicken breast (that’s it no sides) he reminded me his dick worked (in a far more romantic way). We discussed my grandpa’s death and I told him it wasn’t happening. I was pretty well done. This was the nail in the coffin. Mikaela picked up the roses and we ate the chocolate over the next month. Over my birthday trip, he would ask how it was going and if it was fun. I don’t know what else he would have asked but this annoyed me as he seemed to want answers like it was miserable without him. By Wednesday when Emily had gone home and I had time to see him I was done. He wanted to make out and plan my birthday which we couldn’t do for two weeks (because I wouldn’t let him take a day off work). I couldn’t take it and we parted ways. I left miserable and in pain every night, he didn’t know where to draw a line between pain and pleasure even as I told him and he wasn’t willing to care for himself. He also wasn’t willing to touch me. It was all about his pleasure.
- I messaged Tim to see where life had taken him and we chatted a bit.
- I got a job working for an appraiser as a data entry specialist. Though its limited work I learned a lot working on a project for Tuson and some smaller works throughout the year.
- February ended with rewriting my Gaul paper to better suit everything it should.
March
- I presented at the Midwest Art History Society Symposium in Cinncinatti and got to explore the city. I couldn’t miss the opportunity to see Fiona the Hippo while I was there and wander across the river into Kentucky.
- Finally made it to the Brazilian steakhouse for Wynn’s birthday which was such a fun experience with my favorite family.
- Went on a couple of dates with Tim. Including a splendid date to Nature and Science for the Da Vinci exhibit. After he took me to lunch and then mini-golfing. In hindsight, this is when we started dating.
April
- Tim took me to my first nascar racing event and we continued dating having all kinds of adventures. He travels so much we make the most out of the time we do spend together.
- Wrapping up my final semester at DU and working in the VMC. All while trying to stay on top of my MRP proved to be incredibly stressful. I’m really glad I only had one class though.
May
- Charcuterie and Truck racing- Tim took me on a double date to the races with Jacob and his girlfriend Jessica. Its been great meeting his friends and is a great reminder that you only need a few close friends instead of many people who are there.
- As the semester winds down I had to focus on school.
June
- Per wise words from Scott I decided to apply to walk even if my paper wasn’t finalized. Between the timing of summer graduation not working and the oppertunity to walk with Srishti and Mikalea it was the best decision.
- We did it. Kind of. Srishti is signed off and done while Mikaela and I still have some more edits to get finished.
- Had it not been for everyone traveling over the summer and new positions in the department I would have finished before the end of the month. Though I didn’t formally finish until August walking was a huge weight off my shoulders.
July
- So began the month of changes. -This is the month that made this so hard to write. A month I’d like to forget but never will.
- Tim and I continued with traveling making life a challenge. Him between Texas and Denver with a quick trip to Nebraska to see his uncle. Me up to Cheyenne for Frontier Days.
- Wynn’s grandma finally was reunited with her husband. This is where our friendship began to unravel. For months I’d been straining it, with school and stress. I hated that every time I called her I seemed to be complaining. She was my sounding block for stress and it drove me crazy that I never had anything good to say. This was my fault. I never told her anything about Tim, She seemed uninterested in him and I had told her everything with Malcolm and been horribly wrong, I didn’t want that to happen again. In hindsight, this is a moment where communication could have helped everything. For months we’d delt with tension and fighting. This was the breaking point. I didn’t go to the funeral. Maybe I should have but its too late. For Wynn family is everything, for me family is select and I should have realized that difference. I didn’t go to my grandparent’s funerals because I didn’t know them. Now that is just the excuse. Things remained tense throughout July with her and Becky doing all the CFD things and I not invited. We remained neutral as possible with the looming trip to Vegas in August. And that is where it ended. I’m not going to dwell on that further. Wynn was one of my best friends and truly one of the best things in my life but we relied on each other too much which was unhealthy. Maybe someday we will be friends again, though I’m not holding my breath.
- I interviewed at the Farney museum and though I didn’t get the job this was a great opportunity.
- My 18th year at Barbs? I think.
August
- Wynn and I went to Vegas and I got to see Jason and my grandparent’s old house. This trip was a learning experience. I saw Cirque du Soli’s show O and Body World at Balle.
- Being officially done with school was a huge relief. On top of that, I got not one but two jobs at the end of the month. Working for Front Range Community College and at Rocky Mountain College of Art + Design.
- Tension with Wynn came to a head with many hurtful things said and the end of our friendship. This has made life incredibly challenging with mutual connections and each of us knowing how the other is, I wish her the best.
September
- September was the neutral month I needed. Tim and I are great, we are both working, getting by and having a blast.
October
- Taught my first class at RMCAD Art History 3.
- Tim and I decided to give living together a shot and found an awesome apartment that’s newly built and saves us both a little money. We move in in November.
November
- Tim’s mom passed away which was tragic but she is no longer in pain and it brought the family closer together.
- We did Thanksgiving with Tim’s family, keeping it as low key as possible. It’s been great to meet his family and get to know them. They include me and treat me like family which is great.
- Tuesday before Thanksgiving we had a blizzard and that was the day we started moving. By Saturday after Black Friday, we had most everything moved into our new apartment. It will take some time getting organized and set up but I’m excited to start my life with Tim.
December
- I finished my first semester teaching at RMCAD and failed quite a few students. This was a lot of fun and interesting to learn.
- We continued unpacking and getting settled. Cori moved into the building next door
- Christmas brought the rest of Tim’s family to town. Meeting everyone in the immediate family its a lot like what Meredith had and I didn’t. A close group with stories and fun. His sisters are awesome, nieces are sweet as can be and I love meeting everyone. They have great traditions with Santa coming on Christmas eve and more celebrations throughout. It was a hard year with his mom being gone but they made it special for the kids anyway.
- We did Christmas day with my parents and they absolutely love Tim. I wish I were joking when they say they like him better but they do. They already consider us engaged.
- Tim turned 30 and we had a housewarming party combined birthday with his family and friends. We played Catan into the night and had many laughs with new friends and old.
I can’t wait to see what the new year and new decade hold for Tim and I. So much has changed and there are so many new opportunities. Change is a wonderful thing. I hope to reunite with old friends and make many more. Happy New Year